
Have you ever felt certain emotions won't go away, no matter how hard you try to ignore them? Perhaps it's a belief that you're not good enough, a persistent self-doubt, or a refusal to let go of your inner child. These aren't just random thoughts; they're generally based on experiences we had as children. Your past sentiments as a child can bottle up and might impact your behavior as an adult in the absence of a proper outlet.
The first step to healing begins with getting to know your inner child and connecting with it. Only then you can look back and care for the younger parts of yourself that may still be damaged or terrified. No matter how strongly you feel you’re not alone – there is an evidence-based approach to healing your past traumas called Gabor Mate’s Compassionate Inquiry Therapy (CIT). CIT allows you to identify and work on the root causes, healing older wounds one at a time rather than allowing them to govern you.
Continue reading to know what’s causing your inner child to act out and how CIT can help you become the better version of yourself, free from the burden of past traumas.
In this article:
What is an inner child?
How does the inner child shape adulthood?
Role of Compassionate Inquiry Therapy in inner child healing.
What happens when you choose CIT?
What Is an Inner Child?
Your "inner child" is a part of you that carries the emotions, beliefs, and experiences shaped during your early years. This inner child functions as your "emotional self," holding memories that continue to influence how you feel, think, and act later in life. Whether we recognize it or not, we all have an inner child. For instance, if a child constantly feels worthless and feels that he or she is not needed anywhere, they might grow up with a lingering sense of insecurity. Or maybe they felt rejected, which can later show up as a fear of getting close to others. These wounds are so common that they can lead to ongoing struggles with self-worth, trust, and confidence.
No matter where we originate from, we all have early impressions and feelings that helped shape our sense of ourselves. Think about the moments when you felt scared, overlooked, or confused in certain situations and how you tried your best to avoid those situations as an adult. Think about the moments when you felt loved and cared for and how you tried to reciprocate that love as an adult. It’s a cyclic process and somewhere someone has to break the wheel and be in charge of their own emotions and behaviors. Research findings suggest that parents who gave their children the love and care they deserved were more likely to have a child with better emotional control.
Learning about the inner child shows you hidden aspects of yourself—past events that may still influence how you perceive yourself and others. By connecting with your emotional self, you can begin to understand where particular beliefs or sentiments of abandonment originate from and repair them. This journey into inner child work is like giving yourself the opportunity to rewrite the old, outdated stories we tell ourselves, resulting in a more complete and confident self.
How Does The Inner Child Shapes Adulthood?

The experiences you had as a child did not simply disappear completely as you got older. If someone felt unloved or abandoned as a child, they may be afraid of rejection into adulthood, making trust feel dangerous. People frequently develop behaviors to protect themselves from being wounded again, such as avoiding closeness, becoming a people-pleaser, holding back, and believing they do not deserve success or affection.
For example, someone who was frequently criticized as a child may now be their own most harsh critic, never feeling good enough. Or, if they felt ignored, they may still be apprehensive in social situations, fearing they would go unnoticed.
Once you take the first step towards healing, you can reconnect with your "inner child"—the part of you that still feels those past nightmare-ish memories—you may begin to let go of these defenses and develop healthier ways of interacting with yourself and others.
The Role of Compassionate Inquiry Therapy (CIT) In Inner Child Healing

Compassionate Inquiry Therapy, or CIT, is a modern and effective psychotherapy that looks deep into identifying the root causes of emotional pain and specific beliefs. Instead of focusing solely on the surface, CIT encourages you to explore the deeper roots of your emotions and understand why you may act or feel a particular way.
CIT gently makes it possible for you to reconnect with your inner child - the part of you that remembers your early experiences and feelings. This technique helps people understand where their sorrow came from, letting them heal. It's like having a safe place to relive your memories, understand you’re not the problem, learn from them, and come to terms with them. An insightful book on therapy for children called “Hidden Treasure” highlights engaging approaches that emphasize creating a safe space, reinforcing the importance of nurturing the inner child for effective healing.
CIT therapists use strategies such as mindfulness (paying close attention to what is going on inside), guided inquiry (asking helpful questions as they dig deeper), and self-reflection (learning to be compassionate to oneself). Each phase teaches people to recognize, validate, and eventually care for their inner child. This method helps in the release of old beliefs and traumas that may have been holding you back, leading to genuine healing and emotional liberty.
What Happens When You Choose CIT?
CIT lets you open up about your deeper thoughts and beliefs that were in the dark corners of your mind. And when you choose CIT, you go through stages of emotional growth and self-development in a way that heals you as a whole.
Here’s what you can expect from CIT:
Enhanced self-awareness - CIT can improve your understanding of emotions and behaviors, resulting in increased self-awareness and insight into personal patterns.
Emotional validation - You can learn to acknowledge your emotions and experiences, which promotes self-acceptance and compassion.
Healing Past Wounds - By reconnecting with the inner child, you can address and repair past wounds that are affecting your current life.
Improved Relationships - Your relationships with others improve as you learn to communicate more openly and become less hesitant.
Reduction of Anxiety and Stress - CIT can help you feel calmer and grounded.
Empowerment - It helps you get in charge of your emotional patterns and regulate them effortlessly.
Mindfulness Skills - You can learn mindfulness activities that help you be present and connected to your feelings.
Inner child healing through Compassionate Inquiry Therapy is an effective method to reconnect with yourself and confront the wounds that are holding you back. It is about nurturing your emotional self and igniting self-love. Remember, it's never too late to discover your inner child and tread the path to a better, happier you.
Accepting this process can result in amazing achievements in understanding yourself and creating the life you truly desire. You deserve to heal, grow, and live completely, so let's take this trip together. Hope and healing are within reach!
If you're ready to take the first step, click here to book your appointment right now!
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